Dear College Football,


I thought we might need a review of the house rules since you’ve been gone for over 7 months.

  1. Your lease is up after January 7, 2010.  (At that time you may reapply for your next lease.)
  2. You are limited to controlling only 2 days a week, Thursday evenings and Saturday.
  3. You are allotted only one television at a time unless the Huskers and Razorbacks are both on at the same time.
  4. Please try to limit your control of both the computer and the television simultaneously.
  5. If you are responsible for my husband’s foul mood, please do your best to remedy it in a timely fashion.
  6. Make sure I am focused on you before there are any returns for a touchdown – you know they’re my favorite.
  7. Kindly make sure you are finished for the night by a reasonable time – I don’t need my husband blaming you for being tired.
  8. If you must continue after I head to bed, which you often will, please try to keep it a little quieter.
  9. Remember when I start talking of being ready for you to go by mid-November, it’s only because I really love my husband and miss him.
  10. I’ve really come to enjoy your arrival each fall, don’t make me regret it.




2 responses »

  1. ok probably my favorite all-time post. great write-up.

    4. i understand this request. but when multiple games are going on in which i don’t want to turn the channel sometimes i need to have anywhere from 2-6 windows up; online audio playing; tv game on. i hope we can negotiate this one?

    5. yeah tell me about it… just win huskers. just win.

    7. fortunately in nebraska if i have a lousy sermon sunday morning because of late football the night before, everyone else is just as zoned out that morning and will never know..

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