I am writing to you in hopes of being considered for a “key” position on your team. I realize that we have only become friends over the past 8 years and there have been bumps along the way. I’m not always the most understanding of your time consumption, and at times I still can’t tell the difference between an I formation* and a spread offense*. I’m really hoping we can put that aside so that you can truly see how right I am for this part of the game.
I have come to realize in the last 8 years how critical a role it is to have the “Keys to the Game” before each game. How on earth would games otherwise be won? I envision in my head players and coaching staffs in silence in the locker room before the game clinging to the edge of their seat in anticipation of the unveiling of this week’s keys.
With the utmost respect for this noble position, I’d like to present you, College Football, with my version of this week’s “Keys to the Game” (applicable to any given game/team, of course):
Offense: Score critical touchdown and avoid needless penalties.
Defense: Don’t give up yards. Stop the run game. Stop the pass game.
Coaches: It’s all about half time adjustments. Make the right ones!
Crowd: Stay in the game.
I thank you, College Football, for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing back from you and discussing our potential for greatness.
(* Pulling offense terminology out of my head which I know I’ve heard Brad refer to before. How similar or different these line ups are, is beyond my comprehension. ) (For now . . .)
previous dear college football,