I love my husband.
I’m proud of my husband.
I enjoy his sense of humor.
Monday was his staff only Christmas party. All of us spouses get invited to the fancy, frilly, dress up one, but the real fun (I hear) is at the on campus one. (The one we don’t get invited to.) Anyways, it’s always part of the deal to bring a gift for the gift exchange. It is apparently a mixture of white elephant gifts and well meaning gift cards. Never one to miss out on the opportunity to have a good laugh – he opts for the white elephant route.
Here is a copy and pasted version of what came along with his gift for this year’s party:
Zehnder* Corp. Presents
Underwear Repair Kit
Every man loves his whitey tighties. Never again will there will be tears for throwing away that favorite pair! For all those stressy, stretchy times when the whitey tighties are getting pulled every which direction…
No more fear! Zehnder Corp. presents the Underwear Repair Kit®, featuring:
3” Rolled Gauze When the holes go too far, now simply patch them with gauze. It’s recommended to place the gauze on the inside and enjoy the soft comfort of this deluxe fabric.
Duct Tape Sometimes gauze won’t cut it. For those severe blowouts, we include our industrial duct tape. Do not attach to skin.
Cooling Cloths Not sure what these really are. But they seem to provide comfort with heat rash. Simply place inside the whitey tighties and pull up gently. Similar effects of Ben Gay.
White Out No one wants to admit it. But at one point in life everyone’s gambled on a fart and lost. This one speaks for itself.
Bonus Pair Now for a limited time, we include 2 bonus pair of whitey tighties! This is an exclusive offer for a limited time.
For any questions/problems with this product, please send out a staff email for assistance. Describe the problem in full detail and wait for all the helpful answers.
*(Zehnder is his boss’s last name.)
I apologize to recipient of my husband’s humor. Especially since she most likely did not find it near as funny.