Dear College Football,

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On this, the night of your final good-bye, I wanted to take a moment and thank you for a mostly decent season.  In the end, we were pleased with the Huskers.  We’re hoping you can spend a bit more time with the Razorbacks in the off season though.  They could benefit from a little boost before next fall.  Before we rush right into next fall, let’s take a moment to go over how well you adhered to the house rules I mentioned earlier in the season.

  1. Your lease is up after January 7, 2010.  (At that time you may reapply for your next lease.)  Obviously, we’ve reached the big day.  Hopefully you’re all packed and ready to go.  Applications for the fall will be arriving in mid-July.
  2. You are limited to controlling only 2 days a week, Thursday evenings and Saturday. You’ve gone a bit crazy in the bowl department, don’t you think.  I can understand needing a few extra days, but nearly a month of days????  PapaJohn’s(dot)com Bowl?  (d0t)com?  seriously?  Poinsettia Bowl?  Seriously, you named a football game after a flower?  Come on, I think you’re reaching on a few of these.
  3. You are allotted only one television at a time unless the Huskers and Razorbacks are both on at the same time.  I’ll give you an A here.  Good job.
  4. Please try to limit your control of both the computer and the television simultaneously. It happened.  I know Brad’s more to blame here than you, but you facilitate his addiction and therefore must bear some responsibility.  Just sayin’.
  5. If you are responsible for my husband’s foul mood, please do your best to remedy it in a timely fashion.  Whew, you tested this one to the limit a few times.  Luck for you, he seems to be maturing in his increasing age.  I say you eeked by with a C on this one.
  6. Make sure I am focused on you before there are any returns for a touchdown – you know they’re my favorite.  Fail!  I don’t think I saw a single one this year.  This could have negative repercussions on your reapplication for next fall.
  7. Kindly make sure you are finished for the night by a reasonable time – I don’t need my husband blaming you for being tired. You’re so unreliable on this one.  Some weeks you did so well, and others, well, not so much.  I expect this to be one of your goals in the off season.
  8. If you must continue after I head to bed, which you often will, please try to keep it a little quieter.  I’m going to give you a B on this one.  I’d say you did your best to be respectful of my need for sleep.  I appreciate those kind gestures.  Don’t think they go unnoticed.
  9. Remember when I start talking of being ready for you to go by mid-November, it’s only because I really love my husband and miss him.  It’s true it happened.  I attribute a lot of the blame for this one to the NFL though.  At least you get watched.  They just have to be on whether being watched or not.
  10. I’ve really come to enjoy your arrival each fall, don’t make me regret it.  I didn’t regret it.  Thanks for a great season.  (See you in the fall!)

Take Care!  Enjoy your vacation!

Sincerely,

Andrea

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